Blink 182 – The Rock Show

I couldn't wait for the summer at the warped tour, I remember it was the first time that I saw her there

So, I got my fair share of doubts. Huge doubts revolving around my low selfesteem, my arrogance and general lack of understanding of the world around me. I'm a loner with conversationskills, that's it. I like to be alone and my sense of humour is considerd to be rude at best. And then this boy walked in my life and shook every damn thing upside down. Damn boy.

Since he came in my world I suddenly belong with someone. Someone who like to wake up with me and is still scared of my sunny additude in the morning. Someone who can't sleep when I'm not there. Someone who wants to belong with me. This is, generally considerd a good thing, but not when you are me, and have to deal with my moodswings and hormones. (or horrormones, as I like to call them) It is so scary to be part of something, to be a puzzlepiece. It feels like I lost a little part of myself, my loner-me. I now belong in a package-deal.

So now, I got my doubts screaming at me, why do you choose to be a part of this?You will never again have the joys of a new love, a first kiss or the tension in the room when the sparks fly around. (well, you do get those, but you just can't act on them) I miss being single and getting ready for a night out on the town with the girls. I miss flirting with the cute bartender and giving him my number. I miss being a flirt. 

And yes, I know, this sounds stupid, moronic even. I got the guy, found the prince and married him. If you know me, this is completly normal. I need to get the freakouts out of the way before they get to big and might become dangerous. This way, they are harmless. And I'm sure he has the same freakouts as I have. Because since we started talking about our happily ever after, all doubts that have surfaced have been submerged again, to never be seen again.

I have my huge share of doubts, but they all fly out the window each time I see him walking towards me. I see my prince, he sees his princess. So, no fireworkkisses for us, just smiles and belonging.